Patient Comments: Bulimia - Describe Your Experience

Question:

Please describe your experience with bulimia. Submit Your Comment

Comment from: ok its me, 55-64 Female (Patient) Published: September 02

I have been bulimic for about 30 years and it has taken a toll on my body and my brain. I have not purged every day but had times when I had to lose and would get obsessive. It is awful and I just want people to know you can get help. Go run and let your doctor know they can help.

Comment from: Tink, 35-44 Female (Patient) Published: November 25

I am 38 years old and I've been bulimic over 15 years. I was 185lbs at 14 years old, as a freshman in high school. I started out probably like everyone else, looking at this as a "temporary" way to eat what I want and control my weight. I started exercising excessively, and bingeing and purging. I then switched to starvation for about 8 months in my mid to late 20s. I started an extensive outpatient program about 8 to 9 years ago but was not ready or in the right frame of mind. I have been at my current job for 7 years hiding my disorder but not anymore. I have lack of energy, have needed to go home early and was calling in sick the past few months. My boss has been great and said they're here for me and will work with me with doctor’s appointments. I have finally stepped up to the plate. My body has shut down, I know I'm going to die if I don't stop. I went back to the clinic and cried when they told me at this point I need to check into a particular hospital the next state over for two weeks with intensive monitoring. I submitted the intake form this morning, made the phone call. This is the worst possible thing anyone could imagine going through. I'm 5'6" and weigh 111lbs now, I can't function, I have put myself in major financial strain because I can literally spend over $500 a week on food, for "just myself!" I live alone so I'm out of control. I am going to be checking into the hospital shortly; you have no idea how this has destroyed my whole life!

Comment from: Felice, 19-24 Female (Patient) Published: November 01

I'm 22 years old and have been having this eating disorder since two years ago. For the first time I dieted with acupuncture therapy and dropped 8 kilograms (127lbs to 110lbs) just in 2 weeks! Day by day I'm so obsessed and always go on the scales to control my weight, I also drink a laxative tea; till one day I felt full and vomited. I'm satisfied to throw up the food without getting it digested. And now my weight is 43 kilograms (94lbs) and I still feel fat. I'm still taking my laxative tea, doing sports (gymnastics) excessively and vomiting after eating. My boyfriend knows that I am bulimic. He keeps demanding me to get away from bulimia, and I want to. But on the other hand I do not want to gain up on my weight.

Comment from: Purger, 19-24 Female (Patient) Published: October 15

I started binging and throwing up as a freshman in high-school. At first it seemed like a way I would be able to enjoy foods and not have to gain weight from it. This led to binging. I did this on and off for years until I was 21. There would be really bad episodes that made me feel sick. I'd take laxatives to get the rest out. Then I'd fast to cleanse my stomach out and then I'd feel okay; until it all started over again. I have never gone to the doctor for any of this. I am going to once I can afford to and have health insurance. One problem though is that I think I have acid reflux now. It seems to take longer for me to digest my food. Also, I have been trying to get pregnant literally for 3 years now and no luck!

Comment from: Micah, 25-34 Male (Patient) Published: October 24

For nearly 2 weeks I have been getting very dizzy and nauseous from vertigo. I went to see the doctor on 3 occasions and they have said it is just a virus. I had blood test and it all came back clear. I have not had an MRI but I am very concerned and don’t know what to do. I have been dizzy for 2 weeks from vertigo. The first week was constant. I have had a neck ache and feel lightheaded. I feel like it's gotten a bit better but not 100 percent.

Comment from: Mary, 45-54 Female (Caregiver) Published: October 08

My experience of bulimia is that of a mother who found out about her own daughter through her friend. It was the most crushing news I've ever received in my life. The death of my parents and three siblings did not hit me as hard as this did. I blame myself because I have been weight obsessed all of my life and through research discovered that I probably suffered the non-purging type of bulimia myself. I obsessed about weight, bragged about my successes, boasted about the attention I was getting, etc. I glorified the use of alcohol, made every excuse under the sun for my behaviors, and all the while, not once did I ever think my daughters might copy my behavior. They were always so concerned for my health and well-being and continually asked me to seek help. You will never know how much my heart hurts knowing that I may be the cause of this for my beautiful 26-year-old daughter, who also has a daughter. This has to end now with help from a professional for both of us.

Comment from: 13-18 Female (Patient) Published: November 19

I am 14 years old and have been bulimic for a few months. I do not feel it has yet taken over my life. However I do feel that when I eat I must throw up or I am going to get fat so maybe it has taken over? I don't know. But I do know that my sister has suffered from this disease and that she is staring to realize what is going on. I have only told one person "my best friend", and I don’t plan on telling anyone else. I play softball and believe that I am fat although others disagree. So far I have went from about 147 to 134 which I wouldn’t say is bad. (I’m 5'5). I do not wish anyone would start doing this, but at the same time I believe it’s MY body and MY life and I should be able to do what I want with it. I just don’t want anyone like my family members to find out and I am afraid that my sister will tell! What should I do? You can only save the ones that want to be saved, and I’m not one of them. Although I don’t want to have to throw up after eating meals. I do not want to get FAT again. I’m done with it. In a day I will eat a piece of toast in the morning, nothing for the afternoon, and dinner. I do realize this is not a good thing to do and again I am not saying anyone should start, but I do know that this is how I want to live my life for the moment. I hate my body just not my life.

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Eating Disorders: Anorexia, Bulimia, Binge Eating See Slideshow
Comment from: Shh!, 19-24 Female (Patient) Published: November 10

I am 19 years old and have been bulimic since I was 13 years old. My mom found out a few months after I first started and basically told me to stop. The day after my mom confronted me, my dad asked me if I wanted to join a gym or get on SlimFast; he never really admitted to knowing. They have never mentioned it since. I stopped for a few weeks and started again. I got really depressed, and at 15 got into drugs. Eventually at 17, I was put in jail for four months. My boyfriend for only three months at the time visited me every week, and now we are married. I am now clean and on probation, but I am still bulimic. I came across this submission while doing a research paper for my psychology class, and I told my husband my real reason for choosing this topic. It was the first time I spoke about it in five years; the only time. I couldn’t tell him it still happens, and I know I need more help. I am so easily agitated sometimes and freak out under pressure. If things aren’t going just right, I just cry sometimes, and if I get angry, I seem so out of control. I know it’s not “normal me” and my husband jokes that I am crazy, but it’s not so funny for me. I don’t want to do this anymore, and I just had to let someone know.

Comment from: abercrombie 0840, 13-18 Female (Patient) Published: November 10

I am 18 years old and I have non purging bulimia. First it started off where I would run 2 miles before school in the morning. During lunch at school I would throw my moms lunch away and buy a granola bar maybe some water. After school I would go to cross country practice where we'd run at least 10 miles 5 days a week. To make up for weekends without practice I would run around our large park 7 times in place of practice. At night I would go home and have a salad and run 2 more miles. I was almost anorexic. It's been 2 years since this has started. Now I can't control how much I eat and I'm gaining weight. My dad used to force me to eat and now he's hiding the food around the house so I don't eat everything. I still continue to run, but lost interest somewhat and mope around and cry at how much I've binged. It's a severe mental disorder that I'll forever live with, I only hope that I can learn that food is just food. I need to eat the proper amount and proper kinds of food to stay healthy and only exercise to be healthy. It's a battle that seems impossible, but look at all the people who can do it.

Comment from: Jamiej, 45-54 Female Published: October 15

I first started throwing up when I was 13; I quit during my pregnancies and began after the babies were born. I tried controlling my eating behaviors through many diets and exercise. None of these things helped me for any long periods of time because I would once again lose it. I got a divorce, met a man that told me he didn't need me to stay skinny for him and he didn't want me doing this to myself. I quit throwing up, but the pattern of over-eating is so impulsive I could quit over-eating. I keep trying different diets and occasional exercises only to fail time after time and binge eat again. It seems to be the only thing that makes my brain happy. I don't throw up anymore, but I still have the seemingly uncontrollable impulse to binge eat. I am now in my later 40's and I am mildly obese. I can see myself becoming worse over the years. I have been on many different anti-depressants over the years. They say that these can help, but they don't seem to have helped me stop the impulses that go on in my brain. I don't see anything stopping this roller coaster. Please listen to me girls and ladies alike. The mental problem this causes is just as bad as or worse than any of the physical problems. Please don't start it.

Comment from: 13-18 Female Published: October 15

I am 18 years old and have been bulimic for almost 9 years. I have always struggled with it but for the past year it has completely taken over my life. I am 5'6 and used to weigh about 130. I lost 18 pounds in three weeks. That was easy I just had to buckle down and throw up after every meal. Then I got to my lowest point of 107 by throwing up and using laxatives. I was extremely unhealthy and kept fainting and having chest pain. I am still extremely unhealthy no one knows I am bulimic my mom takes me to the doctor on a regular basis because she doesn't understand what is happening to me she would never think that I am bulimic even though eating disorders run in my family. My poor boyfriend of a year and a half is so worried about my health. He always jokes around that I’m bulimic I think he knows, but he doesn't know how serious it is. I don’t know how to get help and I don’t know if I want it because I like being skinny. I need help my body is slowly dying and I don’t know what to do.

Comment from: Ana, 13-18 Female Published: September 25

Visiting my sister in LA, I noticed my niece a 17 year old has signs of Bulimia. Even my sister told me that her daughter eats a lot one day and almost does not eat the next. She feels guilty after eating. In the four days we were there I did not see her eat at least once, only water and tea. In a big family diner at a restaurant, she did not eat, only water. She plays tennis everyday for more than two hours. She is not the social person she used to be. While we were eating at home, she would go to her room. It is obvious to me she has an issue. My sister does not want to see it. My niece has always been a very good and intelligent girl. She has been invited to attend two of the best universities. I love my sister and niece, but I do not know how to do it.

Comment from: kimberley, 45-54 Female (Patient) Published: April 24

I had bulimia starting 10 years ago that lasted for six years. It was six horrible years. I was drinking bottles of laxatives daily. In the old days, I would eat the whole contents of fridge. Now, 10 years later and totally clear from it all, I’ve decided to give up smoking and see a hypnotist. I stopped smoking right away, but bulimia has somehow crept back into my life. I’m getting to the point where I wish I hadn’t given up smoking. If it continues, I will go back to it so that I can get the bulimia out of my life.

Comment from: feelinducky, 25-34 Female (Caregiver) Published: April 22

I thought I was sick with the flu. But one day I had bad chills and my skin turned purple. We went to the emergency room. One of the main medications they used was ephedrine.

Comment from: Shan, 19-24 Female (Patient) Published: December 16

My best friend has been bulimic since she was really young, and I always thought she was nuts for it! I used to tell her how bad and gross it was for her and never did it myself until a couple months ago. I’m 24 now and honestly, I don’t know why I did it for the first time. I’ve always kind of binge ate. I don’t know; it’s just an uncontrollable thing. I’ll eat something healthy, and then I have it in my head that I could eat whatever I want and just throw it up. It was a decision before, but now I’m at the point where I have a hard time eating anything without wanting to throw it up or eat a lot and throw it up. It’s weird how it kind of took over. They say people that are depressed start, but I’m not! I’ve always had an obsession with food in some way or another whether it was dieting or just over-eating. I’m 5 feet 2 inches and 130 pounds now, but I was averaging around 140 to 145 pounds. For some reason, I’m scared of being fat again, and I want to be really thin.

Published: December 16

I have just recently become bulimic. At first it started out by a loss of appetite and rapid uncontrollable loss of weight. I was slightly depressed and had no desire for food. After a little while, I noticed the weight loss and didn't want to gain it back. The only way I thought to keep it off was by purging. My family has no idea and only my boyfriend knows. My family and friends have noticed the weight loss, but I simply tell them that I can't help the throwing up. I say I just get nauseous after I eat anything, and it is uncontrollable.

Comment from: MustTellToGetHelp, 35-44 Male (Patient) Published: October 30

I am a 43-year-old male who has bulimia since I was 15. After two endoscopies and a doctor who was about to misdiagnose me, I finally just blurted out the word to him. It's only been four days and already I've told my wife, my best friend and one other person. I feel like the weight of the world has been lifted. I just made a follow-up appointment with my family doctor to set up the next course of action. I think I just saved my life! You have to tell someone as I just found out people will be supportive. My wife was a little angry at first (20 years of marriage and she had no idea) but she is becoming supportive. It has to have hurt her to. Anyway, I'm looking forward to telling other people to rally support and kick this thing in the butt. No one will be mad at you or be condescending to you. They will help you. Please, don't wait as long as I did (27 years) it may be too late. By the way, when you know that someone close to you knows, it will help you change your eating habits and they can assist you as well.

Comment from: fightforlife, 45-54 Female (Patient) Published: October 23

I started purging around the age of 18 one of the girls at my high school always purged and she was so popular and thin that i just thought one day well maybe i could lose weight doing it. I have struggled with my weight ever since. I will go through times in my life where I don't purge and end up a size 24. Then I diet and exercise back down to a size 12 then I binge and purge. The guilt and frustration this brings your life is very frustrating. My family and friends know i am an open book about the problem. No one knows what to say or how to help me. They listen but, they really cannot help. I have learned that it has to do with how you feel about your body. This is a road I wish I never went down. The road to a life full of self esteem and giving myself the right to live a full healthy, happy life has been ruined by 28 years of fighting my weight.

Comment from: Sue, 35-44 Female (Patient) Published: September 03

I am 37 years old. I have had bulimia since I was 17 years old. I was really overweight in high school, and I discovered by throwing up everything I ate, I could eat anything and everything and lose weight. My teeth have either been pulled out by the dentist, have huge fillings in them or have broken and are rotting in my mouth. I feel sick nearly all day and night and my head throbs almost every day. I am depressed most of the time and the smallest thing can really annoy me. I don't know how I can "fix" this, but I do know I have been doing this for so long that now it's a part of my routine. I have a huge tea and then throw it up. I keep breakfast and lunch down most of the time unless I have had too much. If I don't vomit after tea, I get really bad heartburn and end up being sick in the middle of the night. I have never told anyone about this and no one even suspects it, not even my husband.

Comment from: sherine, 35-44 Female (Patient) Published: September 03

Hi Iam 36 years old un married Egyptian girl , by now i discoverd that I am sick with bulimia, I eat a lot when I am alone some times i wake up after midnight to eat, I am no more social I feel more happy when i am alone, I succeded several times to lose wight but after a short period I go back to previous wight, I am sure that this is a reflect of depression I will keep it on hope every thing will be ok soon

Comment from: 13-18 Female (Patient) Published: September 03

I began hating my body in junior high when my dad would call me pudgy and my mom would deny me snacks. The first time I ever threw up was in the second semester of freshman year. Before then, I was a great student with a 4.267 weighted grade point average. From that point on, the only thing on my mind was food, calories, my fat, disgusting body, etc. So my school suffered and my friendships suffered. I'm getting better now; of course some days are better than others. I'm now in my junior year and it eats me up inside that my parents don't know still. I have no clue how I'm going to tell them because I blame them so much for it. The lesson is basically, if it gets to the point where you notice something wrong, do not hesitate to tell someone, because bulimia can really screw up your life.

Comment from: Sentimentaljess, 19-24 Female (Patient) Published: September 03

I've had bulimia since I was 11, and I'm almost 20. I learned about it on a movie on Lifetime. I tried it, and after a few years, I lost control. I started off just purging after meals. I would only eat dinner. Then I eventually ate just to purge. I did it anywhere from one to seven times a day. There’s a good intervention on A&E that I can relate to. The episode is "Jessie." I went from 200 pounds down to 130 in eight months. The purging decreased and I started just starving myself. I was hospitalized in November of 2007 because my heart rate was only 48 bpm after ingesting a medium iced coffee. I came out better but now, I'm back to the cycle: not eating all day and purging at night because I know I can eat what I want and get rid of it. It's a hard disease to conquer because it becomes a habit, almost a ritual. It feels as though a drug addiction would be easier to overcome than bulimia. You need food. So it's so tempting, especially with all the new yummy foods they are coming out with.

Comment from: 55-64 Female Published: November 19

I am thirty five and I guess I have bulimia, I go days with eating less than 1000 calories and then when I finally do eat I feel bad and throw up. I don’t do this everyday, but I've done it sporadically for a couple of years. My weight is 131.5 and I am 5'2. I once wore a size 16.

Comment from: staffnurse, 35-44 Female (Patient) Published: November 19

Hi I was bulimic and vomiting, exercise laxative abuse every day for 20 years. I went to hell and back. Then I found a way out. I did mental health nursing and throughout my degree I found the cure. It is within your self to stop. No pills, or therapy just you. I’ve had the cure. So, do you. Believe in your self and that it can happen and it will.

Comment from: 19-24 Female Published: November 19

I am 23 years old, and I have been binging and purging for almost a year now. I went from 200 pounds down to 145. I get compliments on how good I look from everyone, but no one knows how I was able to lose so much weight in such little amount of time except for my mom and my best friend. I know I'm doing it the wrong way but it's like I'm addicted to it now and I can't stop. Every time I do it i keep telling myself this is the last time but it never is. I'm going to see about getting some help, but only because my mom is worried sick about me.

Comment from: 13-18 Female (Patient) Published: November 10

I am 18 years old and I started binging and purging about 3 years ago. I am currently trying to stop myself but nothing seems to help. I tried to exercise more or eat only healthy foods, but it always fails. I don’t know what to do and I don’t know how to help myself. I know my body is getting weaker and my salivary glands are starting to swell. When I look into the mirror, I realized how much I hate myself for ever starting this eating disorder.

Comment from: Jen, Female Published: November 10

I am 28 and have been making myself sick for two years. I have tried various diets and exercise to avoid doing this, but I always come back to this method. I don't really know what I am trying to achieve as I know I am slim (size 8/10). I feel incredible guilt if I eat fatty foods, or eat late at night as it is mainly dinner I get rid of. I live with my boyfriend who adores me, but I can't help it and its getting harder to hide. I admit I like the feeling of control. I use to be depressed and was on medication but I am okay now, I have somehow developed this habit I can't stop.

Comment from: sam, 13-18 Female (Patient) Published: September 26

I am affected with bulimia. It started with curiosity. I heard it on shows. Someone was using a toothbrush. I figured that it couldn’t work really, but it did. I said to myself, “Im doing this because I want to.” To my surprise it became an addiction. When they say that cigarettes are addicting; they aren’t compared to this. It hurts your throat. I am self-conscious.

Comment from: 19-24 Female (Patient) Published: August 28

Bulimia is the scariest thing I have ever dealt with, and I have a very risky job. It has torn apart my body and my life over the past nine years. Despite all of this, I know for a fact that recovery is possible. Even if it is a lifetime effort, you can succeed even just one moment at a time. Do not be discouraged; press on because you are worth it. I know you get scared whether it is you or someone you love with this disease, but there will be a better day when you remember what it feels like to really be alive.

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