I have extreme trouble sleeping without medicines 2 to 3 hours before. I’ve been treated for depression for 7 years. When I'm manic it lasts for weeks. The side effects from most medicines were worse than my disease. I just started taking 300 mg lithium and 5mg Valium. My excessive mania was affecting my son. So far in 3 weeks he said he's noticed I'm calmer and I don't repeat myself as often. I also rely on DBT (dialectical behavioral training) to manage impulsive behaviors.

I have bipolar disorder also generalized anxiety disorder (GAD). I have intense fatigue, racing thoughts, insomnia, very little motivation, self-loathing; the list goes on and on. I’ve been noticing in the last few months I have developed a verbal tic. I also have started avoiding people and I don’t like being away from home.as a result I don’t go to a doctor. I have been on medications, but all the fun side effects keep me from them. I gained 5 lbs. I’m just going to the pharmacy to fill the Depakote. I’m at wits end so maybe I will make an appointment at the clinic. I’m caught between a rock and a hard place.

I am moody, depressed, unhappy, violent, and aggressive, and I am afraid I’ll hurt someone. I have suicidal thoughts some days. Some days I am happy and others I don’t want to be around anyone, my bipolar disorder affects my work place.

As a kid I grew up in poverty and as is the culture in the deep south United States, was whipped by parents and teachers for every thing. I joined the military at 19 years old and was hospitalized while in the military for psychotic symptoms, extreme fatigue and auditory and visual hallucinations. At 38 years old I was finally diagnosed with bipolar disorder. My father has schizophrenia and has been on meds for years. So I had the family history, and stress associated with poverty and military life that finally broke me. In live in Germany now with my second wife and children. I am taking 600 miligrams of seroquel, ( quetiapine) daily.

I have bipolar 1. I have experienced highs and lows. Things that have helped include counseling, a structured routine, emotional support, and medication (Prozac & lithium) to keep me stable.

I get angry for no reason, and I lash out at people. Then suddenly, I’m happy again.